Traditional Scripts

"Many of us learn our sexual scripts in a passive way. In other words, we don’t learn from experience, but from a synthesis of concepts, images, ideals, and sometimes misconceptions. For example, the commonly held belief that men and women are two different creatures, perhaps even from different planets, was a very successful fad in recent years that led an entire generation to believe that men might be from “Mars” while women might be from “Venus.” Today more and more people living in the U.S. have less religious values and more diverse experiences with sexuality. Further, much of the younger generations’ focus on sex is on the orgasm. An orgasm is the sexual climax that accompanies sexual intercourse and includes muscle tightening in the genital area, electrical sensations radiating from the genitals, and a surge of a variety of pleasure-producing hormones throughout the body. Many cultures have records of sexual expression and some even have records of sexual pleasure maximization. Some traditional sexual scripts that have been studied include a number of problematic assumptions. Some of these assumptions include but are not limited to: the man must be in charge, the woman must not enjoy (or let on that she enjoys) the sexual experience, the man is a performer whose skills are proven effective upon arrival of his partner’s orgasm, men are sexual while women are not, women can’t talk about it and turn to men for sexual interests and direction, and finally sex always leads to a female orgasm, her orgasm being proof of his sexual capacity. Numerous studies have shown that most of these traditional scripts are not realistic, healthy, conducive to open communication, nor negotiation of sexual needs and desires for couples. In sum, rather, these traditional notions can be an undermining influence in a couple’s intimacy."