"74 What do couples communicate when they are communicating? • Commitment. How we \"hang in there\" and contribute to our marital friendship, even when things aren't going particularly well, is a sign of how committed we are to our relationship. Loyalty and fidelity are aspects of commitment and trust. • Trust. Trusting relationships are relationships in which both partners are dependable, available to support each other, and responsive to each other's needs. An ability to negotiate conflict and a positive outlook about the future of the relationship are also components o f trust. • Intimacy. The social, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical connections we make with each other determine the levels of intimacy we experience in our relationships. What do couples argue about? Because the items listed above are some of the major topics couples talk about, it follows that they are also the same topics that can spur disagreements. For instance, it is a familiar joke that people can have difficulties in their relationships with in - laws. Take for example, “What is the difference between in - laws and outlaws? Answer: One is 'Wanted!'” Sayings such as these underscore the importance of knowing how your relationships with others can affect your marriage and could potentially become the t opic of a marital conflict. Learning and Practicing New Habits Effective communication isn't easy. Teaching and learning new communication skills take patience, patience, patience, as well as practice, practice, practice. Taking the time to talk is impo rtant. Your relationship provides a safe place to share feelings, thoughts, fears, dreams, and hopes. Make a special effort to find time to talk to your partner more frequently. In tough times, people feel overwhelmed with worries and responsibilities. Tim e together as a couple is often the last thing on our minds as we deal with the hassles of daily life. Although you may be busy, stressed, and worried, take the time to focus on your partners' needs and spend quality time together without interruption. Eve n a few minutes a day talking about what has occurred can be a relief from stress. Be thoughtful by considering whether those difficult or problem - solving discussions could be reserved for other times when you and your partner are not tired or distracted. You may need to be the one who starts conversations. It is worth it to be the one who initiates conversations. You can find many ways to open the door for communication if you are sensitive to changes in your partner's feelings and needs. Taking the time to listen keeps the lines of communication open and improves your relationship. Finding Time to Talk • Spend time talking with limited interruptions."